Live Brave- week 17

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Real Women. Real Stories. Real Bravery

So glad you are joining us for our Live Brave Series!! It has been such a privilege to share so many amazing women’s stories!

Today I am so blessed to have a dear friend share.. she is by far one of the most sincere & encouraging people I know!

Meet Karrie!

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For me to live brave is not about the absence of fear but to take action in the midst of fear—to have courage and to live vulnerably in relationship with God and others.

I knew I wanted to be a counselor since I was 16 years old and worked tenaciously to do so. Since then I have found my way to being clinical director and co-owner of a private practice, LifeSong Counseling Center. When I started out, I had never realized how tender and vulnerable the journey would be. I get the privilege of delving into other people’s stories and hearing their hearts—their inner most fears, their brokenness. To meet someone in such fragile space, all the while loving and supporting them, has to be one of the most breathtaking experiences. The role of a counselor is very difficult yet, needless to say, I find it life giving.

I have learned something profound from my clients, which is how to let others into life’s messes. Ironically, this has been my greatest longing in life: to be known and loved in the midst of my mess—outside of my performance, success, appearance, and so forth. I teach others how to join one another and to have intimacy, to avoid being alone, to accept themselves, and to release destructive shame in order to receive love. This is what I call the healing journey, and it takes bravery to pursue it. Now, to help others do it well, I too must also walk this path.

By seeking healing through a variety of venues for over 20 years, God has been faithful. He has blessed this journey significantly; yet, the fear still remains when I need to take a risk and let others in. If I keep others, including God, at arms length, it feels safer and less risky than being close. The protective part of me attempts to avoid judgment, shame, vulnerability, and rejection. But that’s always a lonely place to be. Then my courageous part—the part that God created to know and be known—struggles to tolerate the loneliness and unmet needs and fights for deeper relationship. I take the risk.

I feel like my life is a miracle. I have survived different types of abuse and neglect, a significant eating disorder, two suicide attempts, depression, and anxiety. Yet the Lord had a plan. He wanted to heal, to restore, and to redeem. And he did. He breathed hope and restoration into my life in so many ways through so many years that I am not nearly the same person I was before. I have him to thank.

One of my greatest challenges came after a lot of this healing occurred about 11 years ago. I was happily married, serving in ministry, counseling others, and my husband was unfaithful. I was blindsided with this news. I grieved to the depths of my soul and still feel echoes of the pain in my gut as I write this. Biblically I had the freedom to leave him, yet my heart didn’t want to. I was scared of the choice to leave and equally scared of the choice to stay. Either direction I went I would be met with pain and suffering and fear. I felt scared and alone.

A question I love to ask my clients is which of God’s names they identify with the most. My personal choice is Redeemer because he had healed my heart and transformed my life. I had to believe he could redeem this mess, too; so I took a step of courage toward my husband and toward God. No more arms length. Well, I would try anyway. And God was faithful again. Since then, I have grown to trust my husband, and I have grown to trust God. I have also grown to trust others. This is my continued journey. In all of this I have felt fear; yet, I continue to strive toward intimacy. I feel like I must because this is where life is indeed most breathtaking.

Of course, there are frequent occasions when I get triggered or I struggle. The little girl rises up inside of me—the one who was kidnapped and felt unsafe; the teenager comes out with physical insecurities and a desire to belong; and the young wife gets afraid whenever my husband comes home late. There are always possibilities that my heart may get hurt again. Yet, there are also possibilities that my heart may experience love. For instance, if I let someone join me, then I can find comfort and cherish that I am no longer alone. Also, if I let my redeemed husband join me, I benefit from his insight, as no one knows more about the intricacies of what I’ve been through more than him.

As I live bravely, I find that I can love others more deeply, and I too get to matter in those relationships. I can receive love, support, hope, joy… and the list of benefits goes onward.

But remember… without taking risks, we miss the benefits of bravery.

Karrie Meyer

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Karrie Meyer is a Licensed Professional Counselor and co-owns LifeSong Counseling Center. She lives in Gilbert AZ with her Husband and 3 children. Her family moved to Phoenix area 10 years ago from Pittsburgh PA. Her passion is integrating faith, vulnerability, and fun in relationships. You can reach her at lifesongcounselingcenter.com.

 

 

 

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