Happy Monday!! Can you believe a start of a new week is here!? Hope it is a great one! 
I can’t tell you how excited I am to introduce you to one of my best friends! We met long ago in college & have been through all sorts of seasons of life. This friend is one of the bravest people I know. I pray that you are blessed & inspired by her journey!
Meet Andrea!
Hi friends. My name is Andrea. I’m 38 years old (still trying to figure out how that happened), I’m the mom of 2 awesome kids and the wife of an amazing guy named Jimmy who I also like to refer to as the love of my life. I grew up in a loving Christian home, but through my teens and 20’s made many choices that kept God far from my heart. It wasn’t until about 4 years ago when my life took a 180 degree turn that I decided it was time to finally let Him in. For real. This is the part where I realized that living brave isn’t just a thing you say, but it’s a thing you do. It’s one of those action words we all love!
For a quick background history, I grew up pretty shy and reserved….as a tall, skinny, freckle-faced red-head I had a bit of a target on my back, so I was quite comfortable in the background. It wasn’t until my senior year that I was introduced to the party scene, which opened up casual drinking, flirting and attention….all things that deceived me into feeling better about myself. It became a way for me to communicate with people different than me, to feel like I belonged, and over the years it became the only way I felt comfortable functioning socially.
Fast forward 10 years and I had everything I had always wanted, but I had continued to keep God on the back burner and live completely immersed in the world. On the outside I was happy, content, in love and thriving in my 30’s, but on the inside, I was lonely, depressed, bored and my marriage was falling apart. In reality, I wanted to go to church so that I would feel like I was a good person and a good mom, but I wasn’t willing to give up the things that I knew compromised my relationship with God, specifically alcohol.
There was always a reason to drink: a celebration, stress, a fight, exhaustion, depression, boredom…you name it, I justified it. It was a sedative to life, it was an escape from my reality. The reality that I had been running from God for almost my whole life and the result was a life suffocated in fear. Fear of the future, fear of the health of my kids, fear for my marriage, fear of failing at life, fear of leaving this world without leaving a mark.
It was the heaviest, most alone I had ever felt, but it was about to get heavier.
In 2008 my family was involved in a roll-over collision that could have killed us, yet we all walked away with scratches. A wake up call, you could say, for my husband at least. As the driver of our car, it rocked him to the core, and the very next Sunday I begged to go to church. Over the course of a few months, God pierced his heart and he accepted the Lord! It was amazing and he couldn’t get enough of God, His Word or our church. Not only was Jimmy on fire for God, but he felt a call to pursue ministry! This is something I had been praying for for so long, so why was I freaking out on the inside? All of a sudden the comforts of my lukewarm Christian lifestyle were no longer encouraged by my husband. Instead of sharing a bottle (or 2) of wine after the kids went to bed he wanted to read the Bible.
What?
Nobody likes to drink alone, much less feel guilty for it.
At least that’s how I felt, so my drinking slowly became more and more private, until I found myself encouraging him to go to the mid-week Bible study so that I could stay home to put our youngest to bed (and then proceed to drink until drunk). I switched from bottles of wine to boxes of wine, because not only did it last longer, but I couldn’t tell how much I drank in one night which made me feel much less like the alcoholic I knew I had become. I would bring my trusty sports bottle to my son’s soccer practice but nobody knew it was full of white wine, not water.
Meanwhile, my husband was pursuing ministry to become a pastor and I was living two lives. I could never be a pastor’s wife.
The question wasn’t so much how I got to this point, but more, I was I going to get out?
The first brave step I made was propelled literally by the Holy Spirit. During worship on a Sunday morning, I felt so strongly to get out of my seat and go forward for prayer, but how would that be possible if I was frozen stiff? I somehow managed to start walking and made my way to someone on the prayer team, but all I could say was I needed help with temptation. I couldn’t commit to being completely honest, but it was a start. Over the course of the next few months I was trying to seek God more and feed my addiction less, but when it came down to it the alcohol always won. I had decided I couldn’t have both. I mean, you can’t read the Bible while your drunk right? So I would consistently choose my flesh over my faith, and I dug myself even deeper into the pit.
The 2nd brave step I made was propelled by the sheer fear of losing my family. I had just days before made the choice to privately get drunk in the middle of the day and then drive my daughter to a birthday party, only to hide behind my sunglasses, hoping my words weren’t slurring, and nobody would notice.
But I knew.
I needed help.
I needed God.
That Sunday, I, again, went forward for prayer, but this time, I had to say the words out loud. The authority of the power of the Holy Spirit inside of me needed to be released through my words,
“I am an alcoholic, can you pray for me?”.
That would be the last time I would take a drink, and it has been almost 4 years. It’s still hard at times even today, but now I’m not fighting the battle alone. I’m depending on God to be there, and He always is. He was there all along, now I am just choosing to say “yes” to Him. It’s that simple. I think sometimes we allow our own fears to overcomplicate the simplicity of God’s grace.
Living brave is a choice, and it can look so different to all of us. Bravery for me 4 years ago was simply getting out of my seat and taking one step after another.
Bravery today is reminding myself that God can use my mistakes to bring Him glory.
That saying yes to things that seem impossible makes them possible!
That doing hard things brings victory, not just in the physical, but in the spiritual.
That my weakness is an opportunity for God to intervene and do the miraculous!
God says that, “’My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest in me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
I remind myself every day that there is purpose in the process, and that every time I say yes to something that scares me, it is a chance for me to experience the beauty of God’s love and His plan for my life. And the same goes for you.
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There is always hope! No matter where you find yourself today – I pray that God would strengthen you & show you how Loved you are!! God loves us so much that He does not want us to stay the same – but to grow… to find hope, peace, love & rest for our souls!
Remember, you are not alone. There is power in your story.. the good, the bad & the ugly.
God can & will turn ashes into beauty ..if we will surrender to Him! <3