Real Women. Real Stories. Real Bravery

Yay, it’s Monday & time for another Live Brave post! Welcome back if you have been joining along on this brave adventure or if this is your first time here >> Welcome!!! This post & the posts before will no doubt, encourage you & inspire you!!

I am so thankful for today’s contributor!! I love this girl & I know you will too!!

In this season of my life, brave has a different meaning than it did when I was younger and probably will when I am older. A (very) brief synopsis of my youth: a childhood of fear and insecurity followed by a young adulthood of brave adventure both inward and outward, spiritual and physical. Almost all of it had to do with a life-transforming encounter with Jesus and everything thereafter I contribute to that.

I was saddened two months ago when my husband and I decided not to become foster parents in this season after almost a year of prayer and classes and preparation. And I was even more ashamed that I felt relief and that the choice we were making seemed right. How could it be right to say no to a child, a baby, who needs a home, who needs safety and love and care, no matter how temporary? I have never been one to make excuses of why I did not do something, when really deep down I just don’t want to do it. And I felt somehow that I had sold out to selfishness, to fear of suffering or doing something hard. I felt that if I could do such an ignoble thing (or NOT do such a noble thing) then how could I call myself a follower of Christ?

In my young adulthood, I not only did cool “brave” things like live in the rainforest, climb mountains, and join boxing clubs, but I did actual brave things, like walking out a journey of painful forgiveness and repentance with my parents and choosing to obey God when it meant both emotional and physical suffering. I worked to help people and to do everything with excellence until I was bone tired. I did things that inspired others and challenged them to live their lives differently, better. It felt good and it did a lot of real good in the world, I hope. I would have lived my whole life in a shoebox, with nothing to call my name, I wanted to do more for God and give up more for God and die to myself in every way I could think.

But I have learned that obedience is not about sacrifice, though it does involve a lot of that. Obedience is simply that, obedience. And to obey means to be content in whatever God asks – whether rich or poor, full or empty, suffering or not.

For me, brave means that I choose to say yes to God and no to everything else. And oh, how painful that little “no” is, because so often I disagree with God. I think I know what He would want more than what he asks of me. I want to choose my own sacrifice. It takes all my courage to simply say, yes, Lord, and allow the reasons to unfold themselves, if they ever do.

There also is another little ugly and cowardly part of me that really, really cares what people think of me. It gnaws at me when I say no, because I have this image of myself that I have carved and want to cultivate. A giving, kind, organized, trustworthy, passionate AND compassionate person that shines Christ. And yes, it is just that, a carved, graven image of myself that I bow to. I want God to be glorified, but it has to be through me (with great emphasis on ME). And every day I must choose to be brave, to turn away from that image of myself and disappear in the image of God.

I wonder, even as I write, what will become of my life as I live brave in this season. It probably will look very different than what I thought or even what I wanted. But I know it will be right.

 

Oneida Christensen has been married to her husband, Caleb, for five years. She has two daughters, Faith (4.5) and Jovie (2.5). She graduated from the University of Arizona (Go Cats!) where she and her husband now are the Chi Alpha Ministry Directors. Candi and Shawn think that her and her family are the quietest people on the world.